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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 1, 2006 18:27:41 GMT -5
It's just clever, that's all.
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Post by Kirei on Nov 4, 2006 15:12:54 GMT -5
..bad joke MarioBros.. ---------------------------- And now for the "Please Don't Take Any Offense" Jokes BLOND JOKE: A blond gets 2 horse. She can't tell them apart. She calls her neighbor: "NEIGHBOR, NEIGHBOR! I can't tell my horses apart! -what should I do?" Neighbor: "Cut one of the horse's tails shorter than the other, then you will be able to tell them apart by looking at their tails." Blond: "Ok." Hangs up; cuts one of the horses tails short, goes to bed. THE NEXT MORNING:Blond goes outside to check on her horses; both have tails the same length BLOND: NEIGHBOR, NEIGHBOR! I can't tell my horses apart! NEIGHBOR: Cut a notch in one of the horse's ears, then you will be able to tell them apart. Blond: "Ok." Hangs up; cuts one of the horses tails short, goes to bed. THE NEXT MORNING:Both horse's have notches in the same ear. BLOND: NEIGHBOR, NEIGHBOR! I can't tell my horses apart!! NEIGHBOR: Ok. Here is what you do. Go measure your horses, then you will know which horse is the tallest; and that is how you can tell them apart. Now go measure them and then tell me what you find out. *Blond measures horses, then calls neighbor back* BLOND: NEIGHBOR!! NEIGHBOR!! THE BLACK HORSE IS TALLER THEN THE WHITE HORSE!!!! ------------------ one of my favorite jokes!
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 4, 2006 15:17:40 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA!
THAT'S GOOD!
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Post by Mantis on Nov 4, 2006 20:47:40 GMT -5
Two girls are visiting Natchitoches, Louisiana. They are debating whether it's pronounced "Nack-a-dish" (that IS the correct way, actually) or "Natch-a-toe-shus". They're hungry, so they stop at a fast food joint to grab something to eat, and one of the girls asks the cashier, who happens to be blonde, "By the way, can you tell us how to pronounce the name of this place?" The blonde laughs and says, "Of course! BUR-GER-KING."
A little girl at church is looking at a list of names. The pastor is walking down the hallway and so the girl stops him and says, "Father, what are all these names for?" The pastor responds, "Those are the men and women who gave their lives in service." The little girl gets kind of worried, looks at the pastor and says, "The morning or the evening one?"
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 4, 2006 20:51:43 GMT -5
What?
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Post by Mantis on Nov 4, 2006 20:57:47 GMT -5
^^ Those two were found off a forum, btw.
And so are these Chuck Norris jokes!
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants!
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 4, 2006 23:22:12 GMT -5
You don't expect me to read all those do you? ;
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Post by Mantis on Nov 4, 2006 23:44:25 GMT -5
Yes I do. If you can read "Signs that you're in Texas", you can definitly read these. And to make it easier, most of these I find funny. Although in schools people are probably making chuck norris jokes ALL day.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 5, 2006 3:05:07 GMT -5
Yes I do. If you can read "Signs that you're in Texas", you can definitly read these. And to make it easier, most of these I find funny. Although in schools people are probably making chuck norris jokes ALL day. No one at my school has any idea who Chuck Norris is. Maybe a few. >.> Stupid Preps.
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Post by funnyotter on Nov 5, 2006 11:56:34 GMT -5
You have to be dumb if you dont know who Chuck Norris is.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 5, 2006 14:39:45 GMT -5
Correction: You have to be an IDIOT if you don't know who Chuck Norris is.
JK.
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Post by Kirei on Nov 5, 2006 15:19:07 GMT -5
A lady walks into a store, picks up a pack of bubble gum, then goes over to the Cashier. She asks: "What's this?" Chashier: "I don't know. I'll go ask my manager."
So he asks the manager. The manager: " Next time someone asks, tell them that it is 'Bubble Gum'" Cashier: "Ok"
NEXT DAY Lady walks into the store. Picks up the bubble gum, then asks the cashier: "What's this?" Cashier: "Bubble Gum" Lady: "Oh. How much is it?" Chashier: "I don't know. I'll go ask my manager."
Manager: "Next time someone asks, tell them that it is $.50" Chshier: "Ok"
NEXT DAY Lady: "What's this?" Cashier: "Bubble Gum" L: "How much is it?" C: "$.50" L: "Should I buy it?" C: "... I'll go ask my manager"
Manager: "If she asks again say. 'If you don't, somebody else will'" Cashier: "Ok"
NEXT DAY A man walks into the store; picks up the bubble gum, and asks the cashier: "What is this?" Cahier: "Bubble Gum" Guy: "How much is it?" Cashier: "$.50" Guy: "...Should I shoot you?" *takes out gun*
Cashier: "If you don't; Somebody else will!"
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 5, 2006 18:32:09 GMT -5
HAHAHA!
THAT'S GOOD!
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Post by Kocrspinal on Nov 14, 2006 17:16:39 GMT -5
HAHA!!!! Here's one:
I wish the grass was emo so it would cut itself.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 14, 2006 18:55:49 GMT -5
HAHAHA
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Post by Kirei on Nov 14, 2006 20:39:14 GMT -5
but then the grass would turn black... (the color not race) ----------------- A car of blonds are going to Disney Land. They come to a fork in the rode with a sign that says "Disney Land Left" -- so they turned around and went home. ------
..... Don't get it? They thought "left" ment that disney land wasn't around anymore. not the best joke, but i just wanted to put in a short one.
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Post by Kocrspinal on Nov 14, 2006 20:56:19 GMT -5
HAHA!!!
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Post by Mantis on Nov 14, 2006 20:59:20 GMT -5
I've heard quite a few of these before.
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Post by Kocrspinal on Nov 14, 2006 21:32:01 GMT -5
Yet again someone photoshopped my avatar.... I didn't think Mantis had photoshop. Unless it was Alex.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 14, 2006 21:34:02 GMT -5
Yet again someone photoshopped my avatar.... I didn't think Mantis had photoshop. Unless it was Alex. It looks a lot better.
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Post by Kocrspinal on Nov 14, 2006 21:34:45 GMT -5
Yes.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 14, 2006 21:35:10 GMT -5
The green glow is a nice touch.
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Post by Kocrspinal on Nov 15, 2006 16:46:42 GMT -5
Yes, and someone changed it again.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 15, 2006 20:35:56 GMT -5
Mantis.
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Post by Mantis on Nov 15, 2006 21:36:41 GMT -5
Yes?
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 15, 2006 21:37:18 GMT -5
I was just answering Kocr's question.
Sorry, I forgot to quote it.
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Post by Mantis on Nov 15, 2006 21:37:49 GMT -5
Yeah, but what did I change?
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 15, 2006 21:38:27 GMT -5
Evan's avatar, right?
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Post by Mantis on Nov 15, 2006 21:40:13 GMT -5
Uh. The only time I changed Koc's avatar was when he had the exact same avatar as yours. But I didn't actually change it to anything, I just got rid of it.
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Post by MarioOfTheStars on Nov 15, 2006 21:41:17 GMT -5
Then who gave him the N64 logo?
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