Post by Salty on Feb 21, 2007 10:32:04 GMT -5
Post short Stories Duh!!!
“Hi, my name is Craig, but most people call me Paul. I have no idea whatsoever why I’m called by this name. Anyway, I had a horrible day yesterday! It was the worst! Perhaps I should start at the beginning.”
“I woke up and chose my black outfit, the leisure one, then I walked down the passage way with the red carpet with gold lining, oh and the empty suits of armor too. I walked into the great hall with all the tapestries and weapons and other boring items of little interest. I walked across the room to my big bay window that took up a whole wall so I could look at invading pansies sneaking across the lawn. The sun was shining through the window, warm and bright, and made me fell all fuzzy inside, I turned the air conditioning on full blast. So then I return to looking out the window when I found one of those “hero” guys waltzing up to my door with one of those toys they call swords! He barreled into the great hall getting mud all over my carpet! He started yelling out the same story I have been hearing for years. “You killed my girlfriend blah, blah, blah.” So then I decided I would end his misery right then and there. I pulled my scraggly black hair from my eyes, bared my “fangs”, tied my boots, and then got my battle-axe. The fight lasted thirty seconds it wasn’t even a fight! All I had to do was chop off his head!
Then I remembered why I was called Paul, actually I didn’t, but I did remember that humans are a pathetic race! I returned to the hypnotic view of my yard. It had the loveliest fountains you could imagine! I also had a chimera in a cage next to the statue of me depicting how great and wonderful I am! Then I see this unicorn prancing through my yard liked he owned the place! What was worse is that there was a “knight” riding it. I grabbed some spears that were lying around and hurled them. Two hit the unicorn in the side and it fell in a heap with silverish blood pouring out of it. The third hit the man square in the face and blood splatted everywhere! I thought of how frail humans are and laughed out loud. Men should only be farmers. All they do is plod around looking for trouble to win a princess the easy way, or get revenge. Right then and there I decided to destroy the race of men. I called all the dragons from the mountains. I sent them to burn all human settlements and villages. So they did, and now all I have to keep me company are the elves and dwarves and they don’t even know how to have fun!” “ All elves do are sing and dance and all that frilly stuff.’ Dwarves just like to get drunk! Oh well, that might be a little fun…”
“Hi, my name is Craig, but most people call me Paul. I have no idea whatsoever why I’m called by this name. Anyway, I had a horrible day yesterday! It was the worst! Perhaps I should start at the beginning.”
“I woke up and chose my black outfit, the leisure one, then I walked down the passage way with the red carpet with gold lining, oh and the empty suits of armor too. I walked into the great hall with all the tapestries and weapons and other boring items of little interest. I walked across the room to my big bay window that took up a whole wall so I could look at invading pansies sneaking across the lawn. The sun was shining through the window, warm and bright, and made me fell all fuzzy inside, I turned the air conditioning on full blast. So then I return to looking out the window when I found one of those “hero” guys waltzing up to my door with one of those toys they call swords! He barreled into the great hall getting mud all over my carpet! He started yelling out the same story I have been hearing for years. “You killed my girlfriend blah, blah, blah.” So then I decided I would end his misery right then and there. I pulled my scraggly black hair from my eyes, bared my “fangs”, tied my boots, and then got my battle-axe. The fight lasted thirty seconds it wasn’t even a fight! All I had to do was chop off his head!
Then I remembered why I was called Paul, actually I didn’t, but I did remember that humans are a pathetic race! I returned to the hypnotic view of my yard. It had the loveliest fountains you could imagine! I also had a chimera in a cage next to the statue of me depicting how great and wonderful I am! Then I see this unicorn prancing through my yard liked he owned the place! What was worse is that there was a “knight” riding it. I grabbed some spears that were lying around and hurled them. Two hit the unicorn in the side and it fell in a heap with silverish blood pouring out of it. The third hit the man square in the face and blood splatted everywhere! I thought of how frail humans are and laughed out loud. Men should only be farmers. All they do is plod around looking for trouble to win a princess the easy way, or get revenge. Right then and there I decided to destroy the race of men. I called all the dragons from the mountains. I sent them to burn all human settlements and villages. So they did, and now all I have to keep me company are the elves and dwarves and they don’t even know how to have fun!” “ All elves do are sing and dance and all that frilly stuff.’ Dwarves just like to get drunk! Oh well, that might be a little fun…”