Gleasonator Forums: The Story Feb 13, 2007 20:42:51 GMT -5
Post by Toasty4you on Feb 13, 2007 20:42:51 GMT -5
Toasty4you: Once upon a time, in a far away URL in the vast internet universe, there was a forum, a forum that...
MiniMcBeef: Oh, cut that crap! It's an ordinary forum, in an ordinary URL, in an ordinary internet universe thingy!
Toasty4you: Oh, so this is what I get for trying to make the story sound interesting.. huh?
Gleasonator: Break it up or I'll ban you for two days, by-otch.
Toasty4you: Ok, I'm going to start the story now.
Gleasonator: Go ahead.
MiniMcBeef: I like hamburgers!
Mario of the Stars: Wait, we need to come up with a storyline!
Toasty4you: Excellant idea!
MiniMcBeef: Base it on evil attacking hamburgers!
Trogdor: Or British Comedy!
ILoveAnime: Or Anime!
KocrSpinal: Or canines!
Mantis: Or creepy crawly bugs!
Snargle: Or a giant arse!
Toasty4you: Shut up! I hate to break it to you, but I'm the author of this story! If you don't shut up, I might kill you later on in the story... or worse.
Toasty4you: Alright, that's way better. How about let's base it on this... The people reading this story suggest what they want to put in it, after all, we're all in this together.
Gleasonator: I believe you are the smartest person I met. I'm very proud of you. Please expect +5 Karma by the end of today.
Toasty4you: Chapter 1 begins now!
Toasty4you: Hey! It's a really nice day to walk, isn't it AngryHam and AngryToast.
Toasty4you: Yes, I know. Look at the sky! It's clear blue!
AngryToast: *angry woofing*
Toasty4you: What's wrong? Do you need to tinkle?
AngryToast: *continued angry barking*
*Toasty4you quickly glances the opposite direction, in a very unusually startling fashion*
Toasty4you: Oh no! Anything but that!
Toasty4You: Oh no! anything but that!
Gleasonator: You just said that.
Balmung: Anyone read .Hack?
Minimcbeef: This is getting nowhere. Please. What do you see?
Toasty4You: I see an fire hydrant. You know toast and ha-
Minimcbeef: Yeahyeah. Wait, thats it?
Toasty4You: No, wait... I see... I see... I... see...
*MY COMPUTER SCREEN!*
MarioOfTheStars: We are so boring.. /
Little Rabbit with British Accent: Look mommy... there's a hamburger up in the sky...
Carol Cow: *screams*
Gleasonator: *drinks cream soda* Damn I need to finish my homework... damn immigration... muthag punnel gawk dumg illijamals... *falls down*
MiniMcBeef: *grabs hamburger* There it is! *plucks off wings and eats*
Carol Cow: *screams*
Mario of the Stars: Who the hell is Carol Cow and how does she, the rabbit, and the hamburger relate to the forums?
Gleasonator: I noticed you said "Who the hell...". Well, "Hell" is actually a proper noun, and therefore must be capitalized. But in this case, it is not a proper noun at all, but is still associated with the underworld of flames in which evil souls are sent. So what part of speech would "hell" be when being used--
Mario of the Stars: I'm agnostic.
Gleasonator: Or right. Never mind.
MARIO OF THE STARS
Mantis: *Throws a pokeball at Balmung's forehead*
MarioOfTheStars: Why did you do that!?
Mantis: Well if you must know, I was going to catch him and evolve him into a Balmzanator! But I guess that just won't happen, will it!?
MarioOfTheStars: You're doing it all wrong! *Opens pokeball and shoves Balmung inside*
Balmung: MPHHH! GHHRRPMMH!
Kocrspinal: *Stares in agony*
Mantis: Good lord! Are you out of your mind!?
MarioOfTheStars: Toasty, get me the crowbar...
*Toasty4you throws the crowbar at his face*
MariooftheStars: You butt head!
Gleasonator: Common! We need to get Balmung out before..
*Various Cracking Sounds*
Toasty4you: Uhmmm.. I'll be leaving now..
Minimcbeef: IVE COME TO HELP-
-as soon as i finish my burger!
snargle: well hav too batle him out usin r intiligince.
funnyotter: I CHOOSE YOU, ILOVEANIME!
ILoveAnime: Ok guys, I'm here.
*Merrily skips to Mantis*
ILoveAnime: Here's a box of chocolates!
*Happily trot down the sunset together*
Toasty4you&MiniMcBeef: Problem solved!
Balmung: Mmmmph.. mmmm.. mmmph.. hmmmm... mmph!
Toasty4you: Looks like we have to get him out of there.
*30 minutes of trying to break open the PokeBall, but no success*
MiniMcBeef: Oh what shall we do!?
Toasty4you: Wait! What's that in the sky!?
MiniMcBeef: It's a bird!
Balmung: Mmmmph! Mmmmph!
*Mantis comes back with ILoveAnime*
Mantis: It's the Gleasonator! Omg!
*Gleasonator comes down in a green cape, shortly after flying through the air.*
Gleasonator: Have no fear.. Gleasonator is here!
*He takes the PokeBall and blows it up with his laser eyes*
ILoveAnime: How did you do that?!?!
Gleasonator: All part of being an admin.. it's just the way it goes.
*Takes one of those smokey ball things and throws it at the ground, creating a dissapearing mist thingy*
*Balmung comes out of the PokeBall, looking like he has no bones*
Balmung: Take me to a hospital..
*Balmung falls on the ground*
Toasty4you: We must take him to the hospital.. now!
Snargle: I like chicken!
Gleasonator: Yes, LEIK OMG D00D! WTF W17H 1337!!!11 I JU57 D0/l/7 G37 17!
*Minimcbeef and Trogdor use thier boyscout skillz to make a stretcher.*
Assorted people: AWAY!
*Meanwhile, in a very evil lair far away, ThoraxTheImpaler kidnapped Gleasonator and MiniMcBeef!*
thoraxtheimpaler: make me a sandwhich minimcbeef
minimcbeef: yes my lord
gleasonator: would you like a drink?
thoraxtheimpaler: yes.....yes I would. Fetch it for me at once!
Gleasonator: (How could this happen? How the tables have turned! I must think of a plan!)
ThoraxTheImpaler: Shutup! I know what you are thinking!
*Flicks on a stereo to ear piercing rap music*
Gleasonator&MiniMcBeef: It burns! IT BURNS!
Toasty4you: I wonder where MiniMcBeef is? We need help carrying this stretcher!
ILoveAnime: He's been on his bathroom break for 20 minutes now!
*After we had took balmung to the hospital*
*Trogdor comes into ThoraxTheImpaler's evil lair*
Trogdor: I hate you! while Balmung was in the pokeball, you were laying around!
*pulls out shot gun and kills him*
Minimcbeef and Gleasonator: we are free!
*Back at the hospital*
Toasty4you: Wait a second Trogdor! This is a rated G story! Well, not really, but you get my point! We can't have anyone permanently kill someone else!
*Gleasonator and MiniMcBeef come to the hospital room*
Gleasonator: Even if it was someone who wanted to kill you back.
MiniMcBeef: But that's not fair! The both of you!
Toasty4you: How about we kill you right now? Then you can't be in the story anymore!
MiniMcBeef: Uhmmm.. yeah..
Toasty4you: ThoraxTheImpaler will be revived at the start of Chapter 4!
MARIO OF THE STARS
*Meanwhile MarioOfTheStars is fighting Goku in space*
MarioOfTheStars: HA! You shall never beat me!
Goku: NO! YOU ARE TOO AWESOME! YOU COULD I HAVE THOUGHT I COULD BEAT SUCH A POWERFUL OPPONENT!
MarioOfTheStars: Eat your green vegetables, Goku! And you may become as awesome as me!
*Pulls a remote out of pocket*
It's the MOD MOBILE!
Goku: You so cool!
MarioOfTheStars: I am!
*MarioOfTheStars returns to Earth*
MarioOfTheStars: What did I miss?
Kocrspinal: It's terrible! Balmung has a 10% chance of living!
MarioOfTheStars: Oh, jeez... I wonder... How that... Could... Have... Happened... O.o
Mantis: You shoved him in a pokeball exactly one hour ago.
Gleasonator: Balmung has written a will one month in advance...
The will says...
ILA: That I will rule the world!!!
MarioOfTheStars: Wanna bet!!!
Toasty4you: Uhmmmm.. this could get sticky..
MiniMcBeef: Not as sticky as my new and improved hambu..
Toasty4you: Yeah.. I'll let Gleasonator take care of this..
KocrSpinal: She lies! This is the real will!
"I leave all my wordly possesions to my loving family.
Through this time of grief, I want you all to be happy.
You will mourn, with great sorrow. But I regret to say I shall not be returning.
Goodbye Gleasonator Forums...
Mantis: I got dibs on his computer. *Dashes out of sight*
MarioOfTheStars: There has to be something we can do!
MiniMcBeef: we could have a cookout! With hambur-
Me: I got nothin'.
Toasty4you: Let's play checkers with him!
Gleasonator: Uhmmmm.. he is kinda passed out..
Gleasonator: Don't go towards the light!
*A Green light flashes and Balmung dissapears*
*Balmung and Celebi appear in a Hospital*
Balmung: Where am I?
*Balmung hears inside his head* Your past...
MARIO OF THE STARS
Celebi: -_-... YES DAMMIT!
Celebi:*Shows Balmung a dartboard*
Balmung: OH GOD! OH GOD NO!
Tell me great spirit, are these the shadows of things that may be, or will be.
Celebi: It's actually a dart board.
Wait! I know what this means! It means tha-
*Balmung is transported back*
*Goku blasts open the roof and drops all the dragonballs on Balmung*
Balmung: *Eyes open*
*Grows giant yellow hair*
MarioOfTheStars: It's happened!
Mantis: *Drops computer*
MarioOfTheStars: Haven't you seen Dragon Ball Z!?
Mantis: ...? .......?
MarioOfTheStars: Well, he's gon- Never mind... -_-;
Balmung: *Super-saiyen Balmung rises out of bed*
Gleasonator: The humanity!
*Balmung's Golden hair sways as if blown by a mystical force*
MarioOfTheStars: Oh no...
Super-Saiyen Balmung: HAME-
Super-Saiyen Balmung: YAH!!!!!!!!
*Blasts beam into the air and blows up half the sun*
Super-Saiyen Balmung: Oops, I gotta work on my aim. Sorry!
I LOVE ANIME
ILA:I'm surrounded by idiots!
*Somewhere in a graveyard, where thunder is a common inhabitant*
*A hand bursts out of the ground*
ThoraxTheImpaler: I am ALIVE!!11@@@
*Back at the hospital*
Toasty4you: I don't think he's going to make it! *sobs*
Balmung: I don't either! *cough* *wheeze* *sputter*
*Gleasonator comes back into the room*
Trogdor: Heal him with your supreme admin powers!
*Gleasonator tries to heal Balmung*
Gleasonator: It's not working! *sobs*
Toasty4you: Let's combine all our powers together!
*Combine powers of all mods and members*
Balmung: I'm alive!
Toasty4you: You were always alive..
Balmung: Then I'm more alive!
*Looks up at sky
Me: LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW WE'VE GOTTA GO TO A WHOLE OTHER GALAXY AND RAISE A CIVILIZATION ALL OVER AGAIN!
Balmung: Whoops! Well, see ya!
*darts at the speed of light to find another galaxy
Mantis: Now we wait?
Toasty4You: Now we wait.
odd odd: Meh.
*3 days later, Balmung plummets toward Earth as a firey meteor*
*Everyone on the forums crowd around him, even the inactive ones*
Gleasonator: Give him some air!
*Everyone back up*
Gleasonator: Someone has to give him burn treatment!
Snargle: I'll do that sir!
EbonySnow: I'll do that captain!
Gleasonator: Someone check his pulse!
*AngryToast joins the scene*
AngryToast: Woof! Bark! Grrrrrr.. RUFF!
Toasty4you: Settle down! Don't worry, he'll be fine!
MarioOfTheStars: I'm afraid.. he's gone..
Gleasonator: No.. it can't be! Balmung.. Nooooooo!
Toasty4you: Wait a second! Let me explain something!
*Everyone looks at Toasty4you*
Toasty4you: He can't really die in real life! This is just a story! By the way, he'll come back to life next chapter! I swear!
Snargle: And when will that be?
Toasty4you: Right now!
*Pieces of Balmung come back together from the ground*
Gleasonator: He's alive.. HE'S ALIVE!
Gleasonator: OK.... what just happened? *builds time machine and sets everything back to normal* Let's dig a hole to China.
MiniMcBeef: OK! You guys dig and I'll go get our money converted to yen.
Gleasonator: Great idea! You guys dig, and I'll get our money converted to yen.
MiniMcBeef: *starts digging* Wait...
Snargle: i think he tricked you
*Gleasonator get's back with yen and army of squirrels*
Gleasonator: *opens cage* DIG MY FURRY SLAVES!! DIG!!!! *squirrels all run away*
Toasty4You: We're done anyways.
Gleasonator: Oh good *walks backwards and gets ready to jump through*
Mario of the Stars: Wait a second, Alex... if you just jump in gravity will be pulling you down from both sides and you'll probably be crushed before the center of the earth can burn you t-
Gleasonator: Shut up. I'm great at Social Studies. *jumps in*
Gleasonator: I told you those damn scientists were just trying to overlook the fact that the Bible is real. *drinks more cream soda*
*Ina-Gadda-Da-Vidda plays in background and mushrooms and such begin flying through the air. The pig that ate the looking glass began to run sideways and the pork of destruction thundered down from the ground. The ghost of Christmas yesterday's tomorrow's last year's ate his fingertips and offered us cake. We interjected the offer and began laking makes. The fish swam through our eyeballs as we watched them through our mouths. My nose began to swell and a mustache grew on a rock. I nailed a nail through my finger. The God's great DVD drive spun in mid-air and Michael Moore became God. Foolish hedgehogs, said Mike. Though shall all be sent to be slain by keyboards GWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!*
Toasty4you: So.. when's he coming out?
MiniMcBeef: *looks down hole* Wow, that's deep.
MarioOfTheStars: Wait a second! If it's impossible to go to the center of the earth without burning up long before even reaching it, because of the temperatures, how did we even dig this hole?
odd odd: Well... err...
Balmung: Hey, look. A rabbit! *cough*
MARIO OF THE STARS
MarioOfTheStars: Someone get me and anchor on a rope.
Iloveanime: *Runs back with anchor and rope*
MarioOfTheStars: OK, OK, good. Now... Someone get me an indestructible bomb shelter.
Kocrspinal: *Comes back with a bomb shelter* It was SO heavy!
MarioOfTheStars: Alright. Here's what we're gonna do... I'm going to attach an anchor to one end of the rope, and a bomb shelter in the other. We go in the shelter and push the anchor in the hole. The anchor should drag us to the bottom of the hole. The bomb shelter shouldn't break at the bottom of the hole, or burn up. Who's with me?
Everyone: I am!!!
MarioOfTheStars: Let's go!
MiniMcBeef: Ohhhhhh God..
Trogdor: *accidentally runs into the bomb shelter and falls on the ground unconscious.*
ILA: This isnt going to work, you guys have fun!
Minimcbeef: J*as they fall WE'LL GET YOU SOME EGG ROOOOOLLLLLS!
ILA: Yay!!! Egg rolls!!! I hope they all dont burn up.....
Balmung: Hey guys, I totally just ate some egg rolls!
Everyone: Really? Like, nuhwai.
Balmung: Mmm hmm. They were "Asian Spice"
Minimcbeef: But aren't you asian?
Balmung: Albino asian.
Balmung: Yeah, well the egg rolls were good. Want some?
ILA: Yayy!!! Non-charred egg rolls!
Everyone: *Grabs at plate of egg rolls like starving guinea pigs on a deserted island in the Carribean*
Minimcbeef: But... we haven't gone to China yet...
MartinRaynbowBoi: Have fun boys! *Pushes the bomb shelter into the hole*
Balmung: China? Who needs The People's Repulic! *Ponders* Wait a sec. That's where all our cheap merchandise comes from! Sorry China!
MarioOfTheStars: Why are you talking about China? We were going to Hell to find Alex...
MiniMcBeef: He's gone now. We were going to dig a hole to
Thorax: WEEEEEE!! *delerious*
Toasty4you: I agree with Mario, we have to find Alex! Even supreme admin powers can't deal with Satan!
OddOdd: Unless he is part of the forum..
Toasty4you: Well said!
*Falls straight into hell*
*Hades magically appears in the bomb shelter*
Hades: It is I.. Hades! Only I can deal with the power of Satan!
*Satan magically appears in the bomb shelter and chokes Hades to death*
MarioOfTheStars: Don't worry, he'll come back next chapter.
*Bomb shelter lands in hell*
Everyone: Let's go!!
*Hades lay choked on the ground*
MarioOfTheStars: That was NOT nice!
Thorax: Remember soccer practice at 5:30 on tuesday.
Minimcbeef: I KNOW!!!!!
Thorax: Fine, just making sure.
Toasty4you: I'll be there!
Thorax: good I don't know what we'd do without you.
ILA: I wanna play soccer!!! Hey, we could all jump off the Sears Tower......
MarioOfTheStars: No one's playing soccer. Wanna know why?
MarioOfTheStars: Because we're in Hell... Remember?
*Trogdor laughs from above*: Haa! I'm in heaven! Ha ha!
Marioofthestars: I hate him...
MarioOfTheStars: I'm not going to Hell because I'm Agnostic.
Trogdor: I know! I just love involving religion with everything I say!
Marioofthestars: I have decided to turn into a Christian
Trogdor: Good for you Mario, I am glad you have finnaly seen the light.
MiniMcBeef: Lets have a coo..
MarioOfTheStars: I spontaneously turned Agnostic again and will not be turning Christian ever.
Satan: Don't you people know? Only Agnostic people go to Heaven.
*God's hand comes down to Hell and takes me*
God: NOT! *God throws Mario into a place even worse than hell*
Trogdor: Sucks for him.
Minimcbeef: Lets have a coo...
Everyone: SHUT UP WITH THE COOKOUTS!!
MarioOfTheStars: Where am I? Is that Super Smash Bros Brawl in the corner? With a Wii? 4 remotes? Internet connection?
Satan: No. These are temptations. You will sit in this room for an eternity and everytime a new Gamesystem comes out, It will be in this room. But, You will never be able to play the games. You can only stare at the consoles.
Trogdor: *Turns into Hitler*
*Real Trogdor comes in* Curses! Its my evil clone Trogdor!
Toasty4you: Stop with the meh-ing!
*Lightbulb lights up above toasty's head*
Toasty4you: Wait, this is a story, anything can happen here!
*Concentrates really hard, and a series of events occur*
1. Gleasonator breaks free from Hell
2. OddOdd stops saying "meh"
3. MiniMcBeef never utters the word cookout again
4. Trogdor (the real one) explodes
5. Satan goes to heaven and gets beat up by God
6. Nathan gets rich and lives in a cool house!
OF COURSE.. NONE OF THIS REALLY HAPPENED, BECAUSE THE TOASTY4YOU TYPING THIS STORY FEELS LIKE IT... HA! HA HA!
OddOdd: You could at least tell the Nathan creating this story to get us off this bomb shelter already.. it's been ages!
*Supreme all powerful Nathan imagines that we hit the surface of Hell*
MarioOfTheStars: You know, it's wierd, because in this book, anyone who helps write this is technically more powerful then God, the one in the book anyway.
MiniMcBeef: I'm bored, let's go to Mars.
Trogdor: Sure, let's do it!
Toasty4you: Fools! We need to save Glesonator! Have you forgotten our mission?
Thorax: Can't we just wish him out?
Toasty4you: That wouldn't be any fun! Common guys!
*Walks through the gates of Hell*
(MEANWHILE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLACE THAT IS NOT IN HELL)
Kirei: Ebony! Come back! Please!
KocrSpinal: *Pats on shoulder* We all feel for her, who knows? She could have deleted her account on accident.
KocrSpinal: What the #&$* is that?
*EbonySnow comes in a vision*
Kirei: I see it too!
EbonySnow: Help! I didn't delete my account on purpose! The evil "Forum Account Deleter" did this to me!
KocrSpinal: Where is he? I'll teach him a lesson or two!
EbonySnow: I'm on Death Mountain, please save me! I'm in the volcanic crater, and---
KocrSpinal: Common' Kirei, we're going on a mission!
Trogdor: Wait up Kirei and KocrSpinal! I want to come to!
Toasty4you: You're in Hell! -_- Whatever.. *snaps fingers*.
Trogdor: Whooooopeee!! *Gets transported*
minimcbeef: *talking to Satan* So if you never actually saw Glea walk out the gates of Hell, then where is he? You say he's not here, but you also say he didn't leave.
Toasty: You do realize that WE saw him enter this burning inferno.
Toasty: How did we see? Well, I have no clue how. But we somehow managed to.
Satan: ... what? I'm not s'posed to keep track of your friend. Go find him yourself.
Thorax: No, seriously, it would be WAY easier if we just wished him out.
odd odd: ... meh... *shrugs*
Toasty: Really, it doesn't work like that.
odd odd: Bored. *walks out of Hell and floats in a void of nothingness*
Everyone: ok? o.O
MarioOfTheStars: *pushes Satan aside* I don't really care what you say, I'm looking for him.
Satan: Then I shall smite you! No, not the karma smite! The smite, smite! *Points finger and blows him into firey bits*
Toasty4you: Don't worry, the new chapter begins now, he shall have his life again.
*MarioOfTheStars comes back together again*
*Shadow Thief who happens to already be in Hell after being apparently killed, then reincarnated, slits every bodies throats. however, since they are already in Hell, they just reappear next to their corpses.*
Shadow Thief: Fun, I could do this for days!
Thorax: Who else wants to join?
Thorax: Satan opened up a league of his own.
Satan: Yep and it's free.
Satan: just kidding you have to pay me back with your souls!
*Slits Satans throat*
Satan: You can't kill me! I'm immortal! Only God can kill me, or any other part of the holy trinity.
ShadowThief: Help! I'm burning alive!
Toasty4you: Don't worry, he'll come back to life next chapter.
MiniMcBeef: Actually, we could paralyze him with Holy Water, then we could stab a steak through his heart!
Toasty4you: A wooden steak..
MiniMcBeef: Oh darn...
Toasty4you: Ok, new mission. We need to find some holy water and then use it on Satan then stab him in the heart, that is if he doesn't tell us where Gleasonator is.
MiniMcBeef: Great idea, but where will we find holy water in Hell?
Toasty4you: We'll have to find that out ourselves..
Thorax: I'll help you and in return you can help me out of hell.
*New party Character joined!*
Satan: I'm off! *awkwardly dances away*
Toasty: *looks up* Oh! There's heaven.
trogdor: technically, heaven would be farther up and you'd have to be dead to enter the gates...
odd odd: *pops in out of no where* That's morbid! =)
Everyone: How so?
Toasty: ... I'm going to get the Holy Water...
Toasty: Now, anyone have a stake?
minimcbeef: OH! I do, I d--
Toasty: A WOODEN STAKE.
Thorax: Of course I do. I keep a spare for situations like these...
*oMG, the stake is gone!*
The Dark Lord Of Nothingness, and the Nothingness citadel appear out of nowhere, and provides you with a stake, some silver bullets, garlic, some brains to not get further killed, and a safe haven. Now kill Satan already!
Shushshh! Story makin' time!
*Balmung reads a dot hack novel and is completely unnafected by everything going on around him*
*Satan tries to speak, or curse, but nothing comes out except bubbles of blood from the slit where DLoN cut it*
odd odd: ZOMG IZ HEE DEDD?!?!
*Balmung looks at everyone*: The conclusion, (dramatic pause) is up, to you.
*The bubbles materialize into Gleasonator*
Gleasonator: Hey everyone! I tried to hide for shelter inside Satan's burrito and you can guess what happened then.
Balmung: What happened then?
Everyone: WOAH! WHAT'S THAT? etc.
Balmung: Somebody must've bumped our thread!
Toasty: It was me!
Minimcbeef: ...where are we? *looks around
Alex: Why is this raccoon trying to sell me wallpaper?
Balmung: Why is this poodle calling me "Darling" and "Sugar"?
Everybody: WE MUST BE IN ANIMAL CROSSING!
*much happiness and partying ensues
MotS: Well, let's get on with it and play!
Minimcbeef: *Pulls out a fishing rod* Fishin' Time!
Balmung: *Pulls out a net and bashes MotS* NET TAG!
Oddodd: *dances horribly* TO THE ROOST!